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AT THE JUNCTION 



Price, 15 Cents 



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€*PYRMHT, IMt, BY WALTKR H. BAKBH 4 






THE AMAZONS ^^^^ ^ Three Acts. Seven males, live lemaies. 
Costumes, modem ; scenery, not diioficult. Plays 
a full eyening. 

THE CABINHmiNISTER Faroe m Pour Acts. Tenmales,mne 

females. Costumes, modem society s 
scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. 

DANDT DICK ^*^^^ "* Three Acts. Seven males, four f emaies. 
Costumes, modem ; scenery, two interiors. Playf 
two hours and a hall 

THE OAY LOHD OUEX <^o™®<ly*^^o^-^cts. Four males ten 
^ females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, 

two interiors and an exterior. Plays a full evening. 

HIS HOUSE IN ORDER Comedy in Four Acts. Nine males, fonf 

females. Costumes, modern ; scenery,, 
three interiors. Plays a full evening. 

THE HOBBT HORSE ^°™®*^y ™ Three Acts. Ten males, five 
females. Costumes, modern ; scenery easy. 
Plays two hours and a half. 

IRIS ^'^*°^* ^ F^ye Acts. Seven males, seven females. Costumes, 
modem ; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. 

LADT BOUNTIFUL ^^^ ^ •^^^^ ^^*'^' ^S^* males, seven fe- 
males. Costumes, modern ; scenery, four in- 
teriors, not easy. Plays a full evening. 

LETTY ^^^^^ ^ Four Acts and an Epilogue. Ten males, five fe- 
males. Costumes, modem ; scenery complicated. Plays a 
full evening. 



Sent prepaid on receipt of price by 

Salter ^. Xafeei: & Compani? 

No. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts 



At the Junction 



A Farce in One Act 



By 
CHARLES S. BIRD 

Author of ^'-Elmwood Folks " 



BOSTON 

WALTER H. BAKER & CO. 

1910 



At the Junction 



CHARACTERS 



Jack Sharp, a prospective heir. ^ 

Percy Keen, his friend. ^ 

JoTHAM Spotts, Station agent at the Junction. \ 

Fannie Quick, a prospective heiress. , i 

Clara Cute, her friend. :> 



COSTUMES 



Spotts. — Cap and coat, regulation railroad uniform under 
overalls ; grizzled gray wig, and stubby chin beard. 
All other costumes modern. 




Copyright, 19 id, by Walter H. Baker & Co. 

TMP92-008658 
(gGI.D 22575 



At the Junction 



SCENE. — A station at the Junction of the Air line and O. M." 
Y. -R. R.'s. At back, r., a ticket office with usual ope?iing 
in front; telegraph key supposed to be i?i back ; telephone 
handy. Lunch counter back l., ivith food displayed — pies, 
doughnuts, cakes, etc. , a?id three bottles of pop. Small round 
table, L. c, and duplicate off r., to be brought ifi when re- 
quired. Plai?i chairs and settees around stage ; time tables, 
etc., on walls. Jotham Spotts discovered back of ticket 
window at rise. 

JOTH. {yawnifig noisily'). . Ah — a — yum ! (^Looks at time 
table.') Time for number twenty-six air line. (IVhistle 
heard.) Ye-a, there she comes now. 

( Goes L. ; whistle and bell heard off l. ; commotion and 
voices) 

Fannie Quick {outside). Well, here we are, Clara. I sup- 
pose this is the Junction, — wonder how long we will have to 
wait here ? 

Clara Cute {outside). I'm sure I don't know; where do 
you suppose the waiting-room is ? And where is the porter to 
assist us with our luggage ? 

JoTH. {7nimicking). "Where is the porter " ? Some more 
o' these women from the east — can't move without a "porter." 
Everybody 'round a railroad station is a porter to them, — huh. 

\^Exit, L. 

Clara. Oh, here he is, — here, porter, take these things and 
show us into the waiting-room. 

JoTH. Did you think this was the Grand Central ? The 
porters are all takin' their afternoon tea, but come on in. 

Enter l.. Fan., Clara and Joth. ; he is loaded dotvn with 
snit cases, ivraps, etc. 



4 AT THE JUNCTION 

Fan. How long did the conductor of our train say we 
would have to wait here for the O. M. Y. local? 

Clara. I think he said fifteen minutes. 

JoTH. {dropping load). Did he? Well, he's got another 
guess a-comin' to him. Them main line jays think they know 
a whole lot, 'specially the one you come down with. You'll 
find it a long fifteen minutes afore your train pulls in, that is, 
if it's the O. M. Y. local you was allowin' t' take. 

Fan. Why, I thought 

(JBell and whistle of departifig train heard.) 

JOTH. So'd your conductor, but I tell ye the short line 
won't be here mebby for an hour or more. She's run into a 
washout, down below somewhere, an' it's no tellin' when she 
will g\t here — they say a good hour late anyway. {Goes back 
to ticket office.) Yah ! Main line conductors ! What do 
they know about railroadin', anyhow? 

Fan. Dear me, how provoking. 

Clara. And such a stupid place to wait ! Why, it's the 
deadest looking place we have struck yet. 

JOTH. {aside). Huh ! Wonder if they thought the Junc- 
tion was goin' t' be a sort of a world's fair or a automobill 
show ? 

Fan. And we have had no lunch, either. I am so hungry 
I believe I could eat anything. 

Clara. So am I, Fan ; you don't think we could 

JoTH. {coming forward briskly). Ahem, — did I hear you 
gals say you was a-wantin' suthin' t' eat ? 

Fan. Why, yes, I think so, don't we, Clara? It will help 
pass away the time ; and they say you can get things real nice 
at these country stations sometimes. 

Clara. Can you ? That will be jolly ; let's see what they 
have. 

JoTH. Come on over here, then, t' this table; ye've hit th' 
right place for a good, plain feed. {With a flourish.) Se' 
down, gals. {They go to sit down. ^otu. pulls chairs away.) 
Hold on a minutt, I forgot, — one dollar apiece in advance. 

Fan. {a?nazed). One dollar ? 

JoTH. Yep. 

Clara. In advance? 

JoTH. Ye, ah, rules o' th' road. 

Fan. Did you ever ? 



AT THE JUNCTION 5 

{Hands Joth. tivo silver dollars. Note. — All of ]otk.^s 
fees should be paid iti silver dollars.^ 

Clara. Ha, ha ! Seems like the dear old east, don't it? 

{They sit.) 

Joth. Now, then, what'll ye have? We've got 

Fan. Oh, I think we will look over the card. 

Joth. {puzzled). The card ? 

Fan. Certainly; I suppose you have one? 

Joth. {scratching head). No, I ain't; the fact is I don't 
have t' b'long t' th' union. 

Clara {laughiiig). She refers to the menu card. 

Joth. Oh, I see. Well, the " Main U " don't go through 
here {going arid getting time table), but here's the time table of 
th' O. M. Y. short line; mebby that's what you're lookin' for. 

{The ladies laugh aside.) 

Fan. Well, never mind now ; do you have any hot fried, 
or cold boiled chicken, with mashed potatoes and 

Joth. Nope, we ain'ty the chickens hev all flew th' coop, 
but we've got 



Clara. Any lobsters — oysters 

Joth. Nope, no 'Mobstersoysters," either, — ye see the 
lobsters- oysters got into a scrap this mornin' afore I was up, 
and there wa'n't nuthin' left wuth eatin' ; but we've got 

Fan. {desperately). Well, what have you 

Joth. Now see here, be you women a-wantin' vittles or 
not? I ain't got any such fancy stuff as you're talkin' about, 
but if you want suthin' fillin', an' will give a feller a chance, 
I'll tell ye what there is on hands. 

Clara. Oh, well, tell us, then. 

Joth. {going and looking over stock). Um-m, there's pie, 
— apple pie — an' 

Fan. {aside to Clara). Horrors ! Apple pie ! 

Joth. Squash pie — an' 

Clara {aside to Fan.). Squash pie ! Mercy ! 

Joth. Doughnuts, an' 

Fan ) ^ 

P * ^Doughnuts — what next? 

Joth. Nothin' next, that's about all ; no, here's a bottle o* 
ketchup, like t' overlooked that. 

Fan. Shades of Delmonico ! What do you think of that 



6 AT THE JUNCTION 

for a dainty little lunch, Clara? ( To Joth.) Please bring us 
what you have, and call us when it is ready. 

{They rise a?id co7?ie down.) 

Joth. {aside'). They seem a leetle hard t' suit, but I'll give 
*em a plenty, anyway. 

{He sets table wiih plates, knives, forks, red napkins, etc., 
afid puts on the whole stock of food, the ladies conversing 
meanwhile.) 

Fan. I don't see why Mr. Brief insisted on my coming way 
out here just to hear uncle's will read, when he had written me 
all about it. 

Claka. I don't see either, dear; but did you ever hear 
anything so perfectly absurd in all your life as the will was 
anyway ? 

Fan. No, I am sure I never did, nor any one else either, 
for that matter. He always was considered eccentric, and this 
surely bears it out ; I hardly know what to do about it. 

Clara {laughing). Oh, I guess it will be matrimony for 
you, Fannie. 

Fan. {stamping her foot). But I am not at all anxious to 
be married. 

Clara. But think of that million ; if it was me, — well, I'd 
land some one, even if I had to take advantage of its being leap 
year. 

Fan. Yes, I think you would, dear. 

Clara {aniioyed). What do you mean? 

Fan. Oh, nothing; this will is so much on my mind that I 
am hardly responsible for anything. 

Clara. What were the exact provisions of the thing any- 
way ? 

Fan. It amounted to this — he said he had always been a 
believer in early marriage, so he had decided to leave all his 
estate — a million or more — to his beloved niece, Fannie Quick, 
provided she married before her cousin, Jack Sharp; but if his 
beloved nephew. Jack Sharp, married first, then the entire 
estate was to go to him. 

Clara. How ridiculous. 

Fan. And in the event of neither of them marrying within 
six months from the date of his death, it was all to go to found 
an old man's home. Now I have not the least desire in the 
world to marry 



AT THE JUNCTION 7 

Clara. Of course not, dear. 

Fan. What do you mean to insinuate? 

Clara. Nothing at all, only what 

Fan. Your tone seemed to imply that 

Clara. How sensitive you are. 

Fan. Well, I am so anxious when I think about this cousin 
of mine. I do not know him, have never even seen him ; he 
is somewhere out on the coast, I believe. How do I know but 
what he may take it into his head to marry an Indian squaw or 
a Mexican or something, and come on and claim the estate be- 
fore I have decided what to do. 

Clara. Well, it's no use your getting nervous over it. 

Fan. I guess you'd be nervous. A million dollars is too 
much for any one to have slip through their fingers 

JOTH. {banging on empty pan, and ittiitating locomotive 
whistle). Ro-o-p — Ro-o-p ! Now then, all ready in the din- 
ing car. 

{Ladies startled,) 
Clara {aside). What a singular man he is. 
{They sit at table.) 

JOTH. {jingling money, goes back to ticket office; aside). 
It's dollars to doughnuts they can't eat the money's wuth. 

Clara. How awfully dry this stuff is ; we forgot about the 
coffee — where's the bell? {Does not see any ; rattles knife 
on plate. ]otk. comes over.) Ah, Mr. 

JoTH. Spotts is my name — Jotham Spotts. 

Fan. What an odd name. 

JoTH. Nothing odd about it when youlcnowthe circum- 
stances. Ye see, my mother didn't give me my second name 
until after I'd had the measles — and 

Fan. Oh ! 

JOTH. Yes; that accounts for th' spots, see? My last 
name was Steel, but after my father was — {expressive gesture) 
for beni' too free with another man's horse, in the good old 
days out here, I dropped th' last name. 

Fan. Well, Mr. Spotts, we would like a pot of coffee. 

JOTH. Quite likely, s'posin' ye could git it. 

Fan. What do you mean ? 

JOTH. No coffee served at the Junction. The management 
says there ain't any good coffee no more, an' they don't want 
no *' grounds" for complaint, so 



8 AT THE JUNCTION 

Clara. No coffee ! How strange ! Well, have you any- 
thing to drink? 

JoTH. {j-eaching for hip pocket). Well, now, just to be so- 
ciable {producing flask), I don't mind standin' a small round. 

Clara {shocked). Oh, no, we did not mean 

JOTH. Oh, you want sumthin' a leetle milder. {Brings 
'wo bottles of pop.) Here ye be, — pop. 

Clara. Pop? 

JoTH. Pop. 

Fan. Pop ? 

JoTH. {loudly). Yes, pop. {Aside.) Consarn it, I never 
see sich critters. 

Fan. How do you drink it ? 

(JOTH., disgusted, pulls tops off of bottles.) 

Clara. But we can't drink from the bottles. 
JoTH. {sarcastic). Well, pour it on your pie. I don't care 
how ye take it. 

Clara {aside to Fan.). Did you ever see such service? 

{Whistle heard ; exit^OTYi., l. i e.) 

Fan. Never. Why, that must be our train. {Starts tip.) 
Let's go and see. 

( Whistle and bell.) 

Clara. It can't be ; you know he said it would be an 

hour 

Fan. I know, but do come and make sure. 

{They run off L. i E.) 

Enter Joth., l. u. e., loaded with suit cases, etc., followed 
by Jack Sharp and Percy Keen. 

Jack {looking aroujid). Wonder how long we have to wait 
in this joint. 

Percy. Looks like a good place for a barn dance, eh, 
Jack? 

Jack. Say, my friend, what time does the O. M. Y. local 
get under way ? 

Joth. She's over due now — it'll be three-quarters of an 
hour afore she pulls in. 

Percy. What's the trouble? 



AT THE JUNCTION 9 

JOTH. Washout. 

Percy. Ha, ha ! Why don't they take it in ? 
JOTH. {looking blank). Take what in ? 
Percy. Why, the wash, of course. Ha, ha, ha ! 
JoTH. (aside). Huh ! Wonder where they blew in from. 
What do they know about railroadin' ? 

(Retires to ticket office.) 

Percy {looking after hit?i). Whew, Jack. Just think of 
anybody falling for an old gag like that, — I suppose any of the 
"original seven " would be new in a place of this sort. 

(Bell and whistle heard.) 

Jack. There goes the Overland, and here we are, marooned 
for three-quarters of an hour. (Yawns.) Ah — yum — don't 
see what old Brief meant by insisting on my coming down here 
to hear that confounded will read. Knew all about it, in fact 
the old boy wrote me at the time it was drawn up ; guess he 
thought it might make me settle down. Ha, ha ! But, Percy, 
ray boy, I had no notion of committing any such foolishness at 
my tender age, and I supposed he would live for years ; but his 
gout got the best of him, and now it seems it's up to me — Jack 
Sharp — to do the marrying act, inside of six months — perhaps 
sooner — or stand to lose a cool million. What do you think 
of that for a "cold proposition," Percy, anyway? 1 tell you 
a "million " is too much for any man to let slip through his 
fingers. 

Percy. Right you are. Jack. Say, what about this cousin ? 
What is her name, anyway ? 

Jack. Fannie Quick. 

Percy. Quick, eh ? Ha, ha ! By Jove, Jack, suppose 
this Miss Quick should take a notion to do something sudden? 

Jack. Whew ! Ease up, will you ? You make me nervous. 

(Walks around uneasily.) 

Percy. You know her? 

Jack. No, never saw her \ she may be a Hottentot for all 
I know. Old Brief said she was a hustler, though that might 
be a heavy idea he had of trying to be witty at my expense; 
but all the same I hurried down, and towed you along thinking 
you might be useful in a pinch. 

Percy. Oh, give me a chance, and there'll be something 



10 AT THE JUNCTION 

doing. I'll be right in the push ; you can gamble on that. 
But say, Jack, I wonder if we couldn't rustle a little in the grub 

line at this caravansary. I'm as empty as J^Looks 

around.) Ye gods and little fishes ! pipe the lay out. Jack. 
(^Goes to table L.) Oh, ho, here's the trap already set and 
baited to catch the unwary wayfarer. Come on, old chap ; 
we might as well eat while we are waiting — pie — sinkers — pie 
— ketchup — pie — pop. Ha, ha ! Ho for the feast ! 

Jack. Yes, but who will ''dig" for the doctor afterward? 
Well, come on, it's better than the desert air we've been taking 
in all the morning anyway. 

{They sit.') 

JOTH. {comijig over). Say, you fellers, that lay out is for 
two 

Jack. Quite correct, and there's two at the banquet, my 
friend. {They eat.) Ha, ha! Say, Percy, now if that mil- 
lion dollars would only work out as slick as this remark of our 
friend's here — it would be all to the easy. 

Percy. Logic, Jack, logic. 

JOTH. {loudly). I said two 

Jack. Oh, yes, two, I'm on; that's one apiece; here you 
go. ( Tosses two dollars to Joth.) Now run along and play. 

JOTH. But I mean 

Percy. So do we, old sport ; we mean to stay our stomachs 
'til they get that wash taken in. Ha, ha ! 

{They laugh and eat. Joth. throws up ha?ids and exit, R.) 

Jack. Say, old *' Rip Van Winkle " seemed to have some- 
thing on his mind. 

Percy. Or on his stomach — maybe 'twas one of these 
doughnuts. {Holds one up.) Say, Jack, how would one of 
these do for a wedding ring for the future Mrs. Jack Sharp? 

Jack. Oh, fine — fine. Ha, ha ! Come on, Percy. 
{Takes bottle of pop ^ hafids Percy the other one.) Come on, 
let us drink a toast to her in a draught of sparkling pop. 

Percy. Hip ! Hip ! All up ! 

{They stand.) 

Jack. Here's to a girl I do not know, wherever she may 
be, through whom kind fate will soon bestow, a million 
*' bones " on me. 



AT THE JUNCTION I 1 

{They laugh, and drink from bo tiles.') 

Enter Fan. and Clara, l. i e. Discoverifig Jack and 
Percy, they cross to r. 

Fan. {aside to Clara). Why, the idea ! 
Clara. Did you ever see such impudence ? 
Fan. Where is Mr. Spotts ? 

{They go to ticket window.) 

Jack {aside). Gad, Percy, here's two fairies down here in 
the wilderness. Wonder where they dropped from ? 
Percy. Search me — must have come by wireless. 

{They proceed with lunch, but are inuch ifiterested in the 
ladies.) 

Enter Joth., r. 

Fan. Here he is now. Mr. Spotts, what is the meaning of 
this? 

loiYL. { pretending not to understand). Meaning? Why — 
oh, I had to go and see about some freight. Did you get 
lonesome without your Spotty, eh? 

Clara. No evasion, sir; we want to know what this means. 
We go out on the platform for a few momeiUs, and when we 
return we find these two — {glancijig toivard table) these two — 
ah — persons consuming 

Fan. Devouring 

Clara. Annihilating our lunch. It's going 

Joth. {scratching head). Going, gone, as the auctioneer 
says. 

C\ RA I (j^^^^^P^"i f^^l)- Explain, sir ! 

Joth. Oh, certainly — it's this way. {Aside.) What'll I 
tell 'em? Oh, I have it. {To ladies.) The fact o' th' matter 
is, girls, these two chaps are directors on the board of the 
O. M. Y. R. R. — came down on the Overland while you were 
out lookin' at the scenery. They'd got to wait for the local 

Fan. {startled ; looking ove?'). The local ? 

Joth. That's what they said, — and they saw your vittles 
on the table, said they were wantin' nourishment, an' took 
possession in the name of the commonwealth. 

Clara. Of the what? 

Joth. {confused). No, I mean common stockholders. So 



12 AT THE JUNCTION 

what could I do? A feller don't want to git too gay withhis 
superiors, 'specially when there's two agin one; that is, not if 
he ain't sick of his job. 

Fan. The beasts ! 

JOTH. Second the motion. Now, I tell ye what I'll do. 
I'll fix you up a table right here, and — well, wait a jiffy. 
{^Ru/is off K. ; returns with table, which he places R. F.) Here 
ye be. Now hold yer horses a second. {^Goes to counter, but 
finds nothing there; scratches head attain; goes and leans 
over Jack; in a loud aside?) Say, if you gents'U excuse me — 
here's two young women just fell off th' Limited. They got t' 
wait here fer th' O. M. Y. local 

Jack. What ! The O. M. Y. local ? 

JoTH. That's what they said. Now, these two women is 
hungry — starvin', — an' you fellers has got all the grub there is 
in th' hotel on your table. What 1 was wantin' t' ask is, 
would you be willin' to loosen your hold on a few o' these 
viands to keep these two sufferin' females from perishin' on my 
hands ? 

Jack. Sure ; here, take what you want. 

Percy. No, Jack, let him have it all. 

Jack. Yes, sweep the festive board. {They both steal 
glances at the ladies.) By Jove, Percy, here's an adventure; 
here's where we succor two lovely damsels in distress. 

Fan. They are positively staring at us ! 

Clara. I like their impudence ! 

( They turn their backs.') 

JoTH. {%vho is working rapidly, takes pie in haiid, piles 
doughnuts on top, takes bottle of ketchup in other hand and 
goes over and puts them on table R.). I guess this'U do for a 
starter. There ye be, folks. (^Brings two chairs. As ladies 
attempt to sit down, he holds chairs aivay.) Dollar apiece in 
advance, please. 

Clara {indigtiant). But we paid you before. 

JOTH. This is a fresh nieal, served to order. 

Fan. This is extortion. 

JoTH. Not at all; pie'n doughtnuts — rules o' th' road — 
dollar apiece in advance. If you don't believe it, ask the 
board o' directors over at th' other table. 

Fan. (^paying). The idea ! (^They sit at table.') We posi- 
tively must have something to drink with this dry stuff. (Joth. 



AT THE JUNCTION I3 

brings plates, knives, forks, etc. He should move quickly.) 
Please bring us a pot of black tea. 

JOTH. Th' black tea is all out. There'll be some down on 
th' next coal train. How'll a nice bottle o' pop do, now ? 

Fan. (aside'). There he goes popping again. (To Joth.) 
Well, let us have it. 

(He brings bottle from counter.) 

Joth. Only one left. (Starts back.) 

Clara. But — oh, waiter ! 

Joth. (returfiing). What? I ain't no waiter. 

Clara. Oh, pardon me; what are you? 

Joth. I'm th' station agent. 

Clara. Oh, that's it? 

Joth. Well, that's part of it. I'm also ticket agent 

Clara. Anything else ? 

Joth. Yes, baggage agent — freight agent — telegraph agent 
— lunch agent — insurance agent — ^justice o' th' peace, an* 
notaray-ry public fer this here county. In short, I'm a gent 

Clara. Well, Mr. Spotts, acting in your capacity as lunch 
agent, would you kindly bring us two straws to assist us in 
absorbing this enticing beverage ? 

Joth. Straws? Do you take this for a livery stable? 
(Brings one tumbler.) Guess ye' 11 have to make this do. 

(Retires up.) 

Fan. Ha, ha ! What a specimen. 

(T/iey eat.) 

Clara. I wonder if there are many more like him out here, 
Fannie. 

(Jack and Percy are lunching and smoking during the 
foregoing:) 

Jack (aside to Percy ; starting). Fannie ! Did you hear 
that ? 

Percy. Gad, Jack, you don't think it's possible ? 

Jack. Whew! What if it should be Ahem! (Beck- 
ons to Joth., who comes over.) Say, my friend, could you 
find out the name of the lady in black for me? 

Joth. Don't see how I could. 

Jack (handing him tip). Well, try it, anyway. 



14 AT THE JUNCTION 

(JuTH. goes to telegraph key ; comes out with telegram 
goes R.) 

JOTH. Here's a message for Miss — er — Miss 



Fan. Oh, it must be for me ; I was looking for one. 

JoTH. What was the name? 

Fan. Miss Fannie Quick. 

Jack. Jerusalem, Percy, it is she I 

JoTH. Well, this message happens to be fer Miss Mo)lie 

Garrity. {To Clara.) Now, your name wouldn't be — 
Clara. No, it would not. The idea ! 

{Ring at telephone ; Joth. goes over.') 

JoTH. Hello Yes Junction Dunno; there's twp 

gents waitin' here fer th' local I'll ask 'em; hold her fei 

minit. Say, either you gents named Sharp — Ja 

Jack {^rattling knife and fork). Sh-h ! man, not so loud. 

Fan. (starting). Clara, did you hear ? 

Clara. Be quiet, dear, they'll notice you. 

JOTH. What kind of a lookin' feller is he? Um — yes 

Tall, dark hair, long neck, short chap with him — not 

overly good-lookin' U m — yes. 

Jack. Confound the man ! Here, let me take it. 

( Goes over.) 

Fan. Oh, it must be he. He's on his way down, and 
— and you know Mr. Brief wrote me that he was sure to get 
ahead of me if I did not hustle. Do tell me what to do. 

{They confer.) 

Jack. Hello Yes Is that so? Um, yes I 

guess it will be up to me Oh, I think so Good-bye. 

{Goes back ; aside to Percy.) It was Brief, the lawyer ; there's 
no mistake; he said she was coming on the Limited, said she 
was a hustler, and I'd have to get up a full head of steam if 1 
wanted to make good. W^hat's to be done, eh ? 

Percv. Don't get excited, old man; just let your friend 
Percy cogitate over the situation for a brief space of tiuie. 
{Comes doivn front.) Um-m — here is a situation, and one 
that plainly needs some one with a large brain capacity to 
grasp it. Let me see, if Jack wants this money — and there's 
no doubt about that — he will have to marry within six raontlis 
to get it. That's plain as an old maid's face. Um — so far so 



AT THE JUNCTION I5 

good. And if this designing cousin of his wants it, why ditto 
and the same. This means there's going to be a matrimonial 
race from now on. He'll marry at the first opportunity; so 
will she. Um-m. [Sudden thought?) Ah, what? Suppose — 
just suppose she should throw out a hook in this direction. 
Whew! what a bait. Jack is a good fellow; 'twould be too 
bad to be the instruQient of his undoing, but hang it all, he has 
all tae money he needs now, and a million is too much for any 

one to let slip through their fingers. But what can I 

Ah, I have it. (^Returns to table.) Say, Jack, I've an idea. 

Jack. Good ! What is it? 

Percy {7nysteriously). Wait. 

( Whistles to Joth. ; goes doivii front.') 
JOTH. {imitati7ig dog). Bow-wow, wow- wow ! 
(Runs to Percy.) 

Percy (aside). Is the man crazy, or has he got the hydro- 
phobia? Say, what's the matter with you, anyway? 

Joth. Didn't you whistle? 

Percy. Well, what of it ? 

JoTH. I thought you wanted me to play I was a dog. 

Percy. Nonsense, — here. (Passes fee and 7vhispers in his 
ear.) You understand? 

(JOTH. nods and exits L.) 

Jack. Well ? 

Percy {returning ; mysteriously). Sh-h ! Wait. 

(They confer.) 

Clara (aside to Fan.). Now, dear, you just keep cool; 
we'll find a way. 

Fan. Yes, but it won't do to wait. Didn't I tell you that 
the lawyer said he was a very determined man, and that I 
would have to be looking around if I wanted to get ahead of 
him. Oh, Clara, what can I do ? 

Clara. Wait, dear, let me think it over. (Coines front ; 
aside.) This is a problem. (Knits her brows ; glances at 
Jack.) He does look like a man who would marry the first 
woman he saw, rather than lose the money, and what a lot it 
is. I wish I had as much, — if he should marry first, some girl 
will be in luck. (Looks covertly at Fan.) Of course, I 



i6 



AT THE JUNCTION 



wouldn't think of such a thing as to try to take advantage of 
my dear Fannie in any way, and I know I'll not have any such 
opportunity, although they do say opportunity knocks once at 
every one's door. Well, if it should knock at mine in a (ase 
like this, I am afraid I would find it hard work to be — " not at 
liome," for a million is too much for any one to let slip through 
their fingers. 

Enter Joth., l. 

JoTH. {loudly). O. M. Y. local, on track number |3ne, 

leaves in \ 

{All grab luggage arid hustle off L. Percy, in the reir, 
stops and laughs, dropping suit case in passageway.) 

Percy. Ha, ha ! Bully for the agent; now I'll await dd 
velopments ; perhaps something may happen to give me an ex 
cuse for addressing Miss Fannie Quick, and if it should, trusi 
me for the rest. {Strolls hack.) ' 

Enter Fan., i.., puzzled. 

Fan. What could he have meant? There was no train in 
sight, and (^Ealls over Percy's suit case.) Oh-h ! 

{Screams.) 

Percy {saving her from falling ; half supports her to 
chair). I beg ten thousand pardons, madam ; I am to blame 
for this. 

Fan. {recovering). You, sir, how? 

Percy. I very thoughtlessly left my grip in the passageway, 
and you fell over it. I hope you are not injured. I should 
never forgive myself if 

Fan. Thank you. Oh, no, I— I think not. Just a little 
shaken up. 

Percy. Dear me, what can I do, or — or say ? 

Fan. Oh, nothing, sir ; I am sure it is nothing serious, and 
you were hardly to blame. 

Percy. It is extremely good of you to say so. 

Fan. Thank you again, but if you will excuse me, I think 
I will go and look for my friend. 

Percy {gently detaining her as she attempts to arise). Oh, 
no, I fear you are not equal to the exertion ; pray allow me to 
call her. 



AT THE JUNCTION 1 7 

Fan. If you will be so kind. 

Percy. Only too glad to be of service. I'll bring her here 
in a moment. {Aside.^ Perhaps. \_Exii, l. 

Fan. I wonder where Clara can be; it is funny she has 
not returned. {Reenter Percy.) Did you not find her? 

Percy. Ahem ! I saw her. 

Fan. Saw her ? 

Percy. Ah — yes, she was talking with my friend, Mr. 
Sharp. 

Fan. {startled). Talking with him? Oh, are you sure? 

Percy. I'll look again. {Goes l., atid looks off.) Hullo, 
that's queer — deuced queer. 

Fan. What is queer? {Crosses ajid looks.') Why, she is 
walking with him. {Agitated.) What does it mean ? 

Percy. You can search — pardon me, I mean I cannot say 
what it means — unless 

{Returns to v.. ; seems thoughtful.) 

Fan. {following). Unless what? Do go on. 

{Falls into chair.) 

Percy {also sitting doivn'). Why, it's so absurd ; hardly 
worth mentioning, in fact. 

Fan. Oh, can't you say what you mean? 

Percy. Well, to tell the truth, I am somewhat alarmed 
about poor Jack ; not that I think it anything serious, you 
know, but he seems all of a sudden to have developed a kind 
of a monomania on the subject of matrimony. 

Fan. {nervously ; half rising). Matrimony? 

Percy. Fact ; he told me a while ago that he might take a 
notion to marry at any moment — said something about its being 
money in his pocket for him to do so. He seems obsessed 
wiih the idea that every nice young girl he sees would be glad 
to have him if he only said the word. 

Fan. {slight scream). Oh ! 

Percy {pretending alarm). What is it? 

Fan. {faintly). Oh — nothing. {Rises ; walks about.) 

Percy {laughing ; aside). Of course, it's only a vagary of 
his. 

Fan. Of course, I see. {Aside.) Oh, if he should — if she 

should Is it possible that, knowing all, she has deliber- 

iUely thrown herself in his way? If I thought she had, 
I'd 



l8 AT THE JUNCTION 

Percy. Only this morning he said to me, "Percy, my dear 
boy " 

Fan. Percy? Percy what? 

Percy. Percy Keen, at your service. {Rises; bows.) 

Fan. Percy Keen ? Did you have a sister at Brown's col- 
lege named Dorothy Keen ? 

Percy. Did 1 ? Why, of course I did ; did you know 
Dorothy ? 

Fan. Yes ; how strange to meet her brother way out here. 
She was my roommate. Did you never hear her speak of her 
friend, Fannie Quick ? 

Percy. Often. {Aside.) Hope I'll be forgiven for that 
one. {Takes her haftd.) I am delighted to meet you. Miss 
Quick, delighted. 

Fan. The pleasure is mutual, I am sure, Mr. Keen. 
{Aside.) He seems like an excellent young man, and I know 

he is from a fine family. I wonder if it would be possible 

{Steals a look at Percy.) Why not? I am desperate with 
this dangerous flirtation going on between his friend and Clara 
Cute — the artful minx. 1 have always been suspicious of her. 
I'll do it. Perhaps she will find me as cute as she is. From 
the way Mr. Keen acts, I think he will not need much encour- 
agement. {Turns to Percy.) It is very warm in here, don't 
you think so? 

Percy. Insufferable. Can we not stroll outside until the 
train comes? 

Fan. That would be very nice — and I have so many things 
to ask about dear Dorothy. 

Percy {aside). I think the scheme is working, and with a 
little diplomacy on my part — well, we'll see. 

{They stroll off k.) 

Enter Joth., l. 

JOTH. {Jingling silver). If that O. M. Y. local will only 
hold off a while longer, I'll have enough of this to buy a new 
uniform. {Retires up.) 

Enter Jack and Clara, l. 

Jack {looki?ig around). I wonder where my friend Percy 
went to ? 

Clara. And my friend, Fannie Quick, {Knoivin^ lock.'') 
Jack {suspiciously). Hey? By Jove, that's so; buth 



AT THE JUNCTION IQ 

gone. H'm — that's queer. {Alarjued.') Percy wouldn't 



(71? JoTH.) Hey! Seen anything of my friend — and — and 
the other young lady ? 

JOTH. Just went out together in that direction, as I was 
comin' in. 

Jack (aside). Say, I don't like the looks of this. Con- 
found it, what a fool I am. He knows all about this will 
business — suppose he should try to steal a march on me. He's 
none too good for it, and he likes money as well as the next 
one. It looks deuced suspicious, but I'll find out. 

{Starts to go r. ) 

Clara {near table, l. ). Ahem ! 

Jack {stopping; looking back). Eh? Oh, yes ; excuse me 

a moment. Miss Cute ; I must see my friend {Shakes 

fist ; aside.') Friend ! {Starts R. again.) 

Clara. Ahem! {He stops again; very nervous.) lam 
afraid you are not as keen as your friend is, Mr. Sharp. 
{Laughs.) Didn't you ever hear that two might be company 
— while three would be something else? 

( With elbows on table she watches Jack with amusement.) 

Jack. What? You surely don't mean ? 

Clara {still laiighijig). How can any one be so stupid as 
not to see anything as plain as this is? If you will come back 
and be seated a moment I will explain. (Jack returns ; they 
sit at table, L. Exit Joth., l.) My friend, Fannie Quick, 
you must know, is just the nicest girl in the world, and it would 
not be in her nature to do anything which would have the least 
appearance of impropriety, but — confidentially — something has 
happened recently that — ah — that 

Jack {nervously). Yes — er — what ? 

Clara. That I am not at liberty to state ; but by reason 
of this matter of which I speak, my dear Fannie has recently 
developed a sudden and most unaccountable inclination toward 
matrimony, and 

Jack {jumping up ; walking around ; Clara laughs aside). 
The deuce she has ? 

Clara. Please be seated, Mr. Sharp. {He cofjiplies.) Yes, 
and of course this friend of yours — this Mr. Keen, is all right, 



20 AT THE JUNCTION 

is he not? Good family and all that sort of thing? I'd be 
very sorry if Fannie 

Jack {Jwppifig up agaiti). Ob, yes, that'-s all right. Percy 
is a fine fellow. \G0e5 r. ; looks off; aside.) Blast him! 
I'd like to twist his neck. Suppose he should get the start 
of me and marry this nice girl — my cousin, Miss Fannie 
Quick. But he shan't. I'll find some way to prevent it, if I 

have to marry the first available {Sudden ihouglit ; 

glances at Clara.) By Jove ! Why not? Wonder I hadn'i 
thought of it before. She must be a girl of the right soil. 
I'll do it. {Shakes fist off r.) Aha, my dear Percy, you'll 
find I'm as Sharp as you are Keen. {Returns to Claka, who 
has been watching him closely.) Ah, my dear Miss — er 

Clara. Cute — Miss Clara Cute. 

Jack. Oh, yes, Miss Cute. As I was about to say, my 
dear Miss Cute, — ah — you may perhaps think it a very odd 
question, but I would like to ask you if you would not consider 
it a cause for satisfaction if a nice young lady — ah — I might 
venture to say a very nice looking young lady — should sud- 
denly discover that she had been the innocent cause of arous- 
ing, at first sight, the tender but all-absorbing sentiment of love 
in the breast of a — er — a most noble and worthy young man ? 

Clara {coyly). What a strange question, Mr. Sharp. I — 
why, my answer might depend on whether your question was a 
hypothetical one or not. 

Jack. Nothing of the sort, believe me. 

Clara. Well, then, if you mean that this explains why 
your friend Mr. Keen and my dear Fannie have been so sud- 
denly attracted to one another, then 1 might say ^ 

(Jack starts up ; recollects ; sits down.) 

Jack. Oh, no; I was not thinking of them at all, but of 
yourself — myself — ourselves. I — er 

Clara {assuming surprise). Why, Mr. Sharp, what can 
you possibly mean ? 

Jack {effusively ; throwing himself at her feet). 1 mean 
that I have suddenly discovered that I love you — I adore you, 
— madly — devotedly — that without you my life would be like 
an alkali plain. {Enter Percy atid Fan., r. ; they stop and 
witness the scene with alarm, but are not observed by the other 
two.) I have learned to love you so in the last iialf hour that 
I would not lose you now — no, not for a million dollars ! 
{Percy and Fan., startled.) Er — will you marry me? 



AT THE JUNCTION 21 

Clara. Why, I must say you surprise me, Mr. Sharp. 
This is very, very sudden. 

Jack. Call me Jack. Say yes. 

Clara (^yielding). Well — er — Jack, I suppose since you 
are so insistent, it must be as you wish. 

{They both rise. He embraces her rapturously.') 

Jack. Hurrah ! Come, let's walk outside. I have some- 
thing further to say. 

{They stroll off l.) 

Percy. What do you suppose this means? Looks as 
though he was in earnest about marrying, don't it? 

Fan. (jiervously). It surely does. [Aside.) Who would 
have thought that of Clara Cute? What if they should go 
somewhere and be married right away? Something must be 
done, and at once. 

Percy (aside). Gad, Jack's losing no time, is he? Guess 
this is going to be a tight race for the matrimonial stakes. 

Fan. What do you think of this ? 

Percy. Well, it was certainly a very interesting little scene, 
wasn't it ? 

Fan. Oh, very. 

Percy. But, of course, now tha,t we are engaged ourselves, 
it is a great pleasure to see our friends happy also. Ha, ha ! 

Fan. Very interesting, no doubt, but I fail to see anything 
so dreadfully amusing in the situation. 

Percy. Pray pardon me. I was thinking of Jack's mania, 
and how funny it would be if he should take a notion to hunt 
up a parson and have the knot tied right away; and so 

Fan. And so what? What are you talking about ? 

Percy {with a side glance). And so ? Oh, yes, and so 
miss the O. M. Y. local. Ha, ha ! 

Fan. {forcing a laugh). It would be too funny for words. 

{Aside.) And it would cost me a million. {To Percy.) But 

it's ridiculous ; we should try to prevent any such rash move 

on their part. Can't you do something ? 

« 
Enter Joth., l. 

Percy. Wait — I'll see. Ahem ! Mr. Spotts, does there 
happen to be a — er — minister anywhere around here ? 
Joth. Meanin' a preacher ? 



22 AT THE JUNCTION 

Percy. Yes, a parson. 

JoTH. Yes; there generally happens t' be two or three over 
to th' village. Why ? 

Percy. Um-m — how long does it take to walk over there ? 

JOTH. About ten minutes. But you won't find any preacher 
there to-day ; there's a church picnic over to th' pond, and 
everybody's out there, preachers an' all. {AsiWe.) Say, this 
looks like a weddin' — a elopement, or suthin' o' that kind. 
Wonder if a feller couldn't git an honest dollar or two outer 
this. {Takes Percy aside.') Say, young feller, you'n her 
ain't thinkin' o' gittin' married or anything, be ye? 

Percy. Why, as to that 

JOTH. 'Cause if ye be, there ain't no need o' your galli- 
vantin' all over th' country for a preacher. I'm a justice o' 
th' peace and a notaray-ry public inter th' bargain, an' I can 
do th' job as good as any preacher; yes, an' a darn sight 
better'n some I've heard. Here's my commission. (Shows 
paper,) See ? 

Percy [aside). By Jupiter! The very thing. If she will 
consent, it will clinch the matter, and we'll win hands down. 
( To JOTH.) Ahem ! Wait a bit — I'll consult the lady. 

(Goes over to Fan.) 

Fan. What did he say? 

Percy. He said there were plenty of preachers over at the 

village. 

Fan. He did ? Is it very far ? 

Percy. Oh, no — ^just a little walk. [Looks at watch.) 
They could go over there and be made one and be back here 
in time for the local, all right. 

Fan. But we must stop them ! Don't you see we must? 

Percy. Why, no, can't say I do; they are free agents — 
both of age — don't see how we can interfere. It will be a 
good joke on us though. 

Fan. Joke ! 

Percy. Yes, of course ; but I know a better one — though, 
of course, it is out of the question ; only it would enable us to 
turn the tables on them in rather a neat way. Wouldn't it be 
rich, though? Ha, ha, ha! 

Fan. Do tell me. If it's anything I can do, say so; only 
do be quick about it. 

Percy. It is simple enough — we might be married first. 



AT THE JUNCTION T.'l 

{Significantly.^ 

Fan. {startled). First! When— how? 

Percy. Here— now. We are engaged. Mr. Spotts, here, 

is a justice of the peace, and 

Fan. Why, Mr. Keen, I could never think of such a thing. 

( Walks aside y thinking.) 

Percy. Of course you couldn't. I was only thinking of 
putting one over on old Jack. {Yawns.) ' 0-a-yum — suppose 
they'll soon be back as Mr. and Mrs. Jack Sharp. 

[Laughs, aside.) 

^k-^. (suppressing scream). Oh! Wait— wait ! {Aside.) 
I don't know, though it's an awful thing to do. But suppose I 
consent; it would settle the whole difficulty at once, and the 
money would be mine beyond the shadow of a doubt. {To 
Percy.) What would you think of me if I entered into this — 
ah — this joke you propose ? 

Percy {whistling; aside). Think of you? I'd think you 
were a trump. 

Fan. Very well, then, I agree. It's perfectly absurd, I 
know, but it will be such a good joke on Clara that I really 
can't resist. 

Percy. Why, it will be the richest joke of the season. 
Here, Mr. Spotts, it's a go. Can you perform the ceremony 
at once ? 

JoTH. You're right I can. I 

Fan. Oil, do hurry, then. 

JOTH. {going back zvhile talking and coming out with a kg 
book). Hurry — well, I guess we'll all have to hurry some if 
we want to git this job done afore the O. M. Y. local pulls in ; 
she's about due now. Just left the station below. {F/tts book 
on table.) Now then, you folks stan' right here {placing them 
R., facing c), hold hands — no, wait a minit {consulting 
book ; coming back), hold up your right hands— that's it — you 
do solemnly 

Percy. Say, is that right ? 

JOTH. Hold on till I see. {Puts on specs ; cofisults book.) 
No, that's an affidavit. Take 'em down agin. {Turns page.) 

Here she is — hold hands agin. Now, do you Oh, I 

forgot to ask how many times you folks had been married 
afore ? 



24 AT THE JUNCTION 

Fan. {indignantly). Sir? 

Percy {amused). This is the first time, Mr. Spotts. 

JOTH. How many ? 

P^"*:^- I Never ! 
Fan. ) 

JOTH. All right — all right; no offense. Then it'll be a 
dollar apiece, in advance. (Percy pays.) Don't you go to 
gittin* nervous, young woman ; it'll all be over in two minutes 
an' a half. 

Enter Jack and Clara, l. 
IkCYi {aside). Hullo ! what's this ? What's up here? 
{They look at group ; then at one another ^ suspicious.) 

Percy ) (^^^^i^^^. ^eeifig them). Oh, do go on, Mr. Spotts! 

Jack. Hey? No, you don't, not if I know it. What does 
this mean, eh? Looks like a wedding. {Angry.) 

Percy {also angry). It is a wedding; go on, Mr. Spotts. 

Jack. And 1 say — come off, Mr. Spotts. What kind of 
fool play is this anyway ? What authority have you to marry 
people ? 

JoTH. {wrathy). Authority? I'd have ye know I have 
authority from the governor of this here commonwealth. 
{Shakes paper in Jack's face.) An' there's my commission 
as justice o' th' peace an' notaray-ry public. 

(Jack examines docu?nent.) 

Jack {reluctajitly). Um-m — yes, that looks O. K. 
JOTH. Oh, it does, does it ? Well then, you an' th' little 
gal run away an' play now. I'm busy. 

(Percy and Fan. laugh. Jack whispers to Clara who nods 
assent.) 

Jack {to Percy). Well, this is a game that two can play 
at, you'll find. {To Joth.) I demand that you marry this 
lady and myself. 

Joth. {scratching his head). Well, I guess that's all right. 
A dollar apiece, in advance, please. (Jack/«^j.) 



AT THE JUNCTION 25 

Percy. But you can't do this ; you have 

JOTH. Oh, yes, I can, after I've tended to your case; first 
come, first served, ye know. 

(^Consults book.') 

Percy. Aha — good ; we are ready ; go ahead. 
Jack (^puzzled; takes Clara aside). By Gad ! Miss Cute, 
what can we do now ? 

Clara. Do you really mean this, Mr. Sharp ? 

Jack. Do I ? Didn't I tell you all about the 

Clara. Then listen. ( Whispers.) 

JoTH. (returning). Now for the next chapter. 

Jack. Just the thing — come on. 



Percy ^ 
Fan. 
Jack 
Clara 



{They range up before Joth. also.) 
( Oh, I say 



(a/l very J What does this mean ? 
^ much excited), j Go on, Mr. Spotts, go on. 
[^Yes, go on; we are ready. 
Joth. {scratching head again). Oh, all right ; all aboard — 
one dollar apiece — no, I mean do you take this woman t' 
be 



Percy } ^^-^^^)- ^ ^^ ' 



']QTn. {bewildered). Oh, ye do — do ye? {Consults book.) 
An' do you take this man t' be 



Clara | i^^^^^^^^^S)- I do ! 



Joth. {aside). Whew ! These are th' most willin* people 
I ever see. {To the group.) Well, then, all hands appearin* 
t' be satisfied, I pronounce ye to be married as tite as a fiddle ; 
an* it will cost ye a dollar all round t' have it recorded. 

{Collects the money ; telephone rings.) 

Jack. Yes, but who was married first? 

{Glances at Percy.) 

Percy {glancing at Jack). Yes, who was married first ? 

(Fan. and Clara look daggers at each other.) 



26 AT THE JUNCTION 

JOTH. {confused^. Fust? Why — er — looks t' me as if 
there wasn't any fust about it; ye didn't never hear o' there 
bein' any fust at a double weddin', did ye ? 

{Telephofie rings loud?) 



* v Double wedding ? 



Percy. 

Fan. 

JOTH. Sure. (^Goes to ^ phone.') If that wasn't a double 
weddin', I never see one, 

Percy {angrily to Jack). I suppose you call yourself 
Sharp ? 

Jack {laughing). And you no doubt consider yourself 
Keen ? 

Percy. Bah ! 

Jack. Bah ! ! 

Fan. Some folks think they're Cute, don't they? 

Clara [laughifig). Yes, they do; and some other folks 
call themselves Quick, but they are not always as quick as they 
think they are. 

Fan. Pooh ! 

Clara. Pooh yourself. 

JOTH. {at 'phone). Somebody here wants Mr. Jack Sharp, 
right away quick. 

Jack {takifig 'phone). Well, what is it? Yes, Sharp 

Ha, ha! you bet Sharp as tacks. {Looks at Percy.) 

What ?...... No Another? You don't mean it Huh — 

two Is that so? {Da?ices.) Hurray!! 

{He grabs Joth., dances him around stage, the rest lookifig 
on in ajnaze?ne?it. Whistle heard. Joth. breaks away 
and hurries off L.) 

Percy. What is it ? 

Clara. Oh, what have you heard ? 

Fan. Is he crazy ? 

Jack. Hurray ! It was young Sam Perkins, old Brief's 
partner. He says a new will has been found in which, the 
property is divided equally between my Cousin Fannie Quick 
and myself, and they also find that the old gentleman left two 
millions instead of one. 

Percy. Hurray ! Glorious ! 

(Jack and Percy shake hands.) 



AT THE JUNCTION 27 

Fan. ) How perfectly lovely ! {They embrace.') 

Jack. Whoop ! 

{Seizes Fan. a^id dances around stage. Percy and Clara 
the same. Whistle and bell heard, very loud.) 

Enter Joth, l. 

JOTH. {bawling). All aboard for the O. M. Y. local, 
track number one. All aboard. {Dances too.) 

{The others seize their luggage and rush off l. Music. 
Joth. dances toward ticket office.) 



CURTAIN 



New Plays 



OUR WIVES 

A Farce in Three Acts 
By Anthofiy E. Wills 

Seven males, four females. Costumes, modem ; scenery, two interiors. 
Plays two hours and a lialf. A bustling, up-to-date farce that deserves the 
rather worn description of " side-splitting," Full of movement and action ; 
all the parts good and effective ; easy to produce ; just the thing for an ex- 
perienced amateur club and hard to spoil, even in the hands of less prac- 
tical players. Free for amateur performance. 

Price, 2^ cents 

CHARACTERS 
RoswELL Chandler, a retired mere hajit. (Old Man.) 
Walter Blair, his son-in-laiv. (Comedy Lead.) 
Oscar Siebel, a composer. (German.) 
Lloyd Deveaux, a chronic ijivalid. (Character Old Man.) 
John Stanton, a detective. (Comedy.) 
Mallory, a reporter. (Comedy.) 
Ford, ati expressman. (Utility.) 
GiLDA Deveaux, wife of Deveaux. (Lead.) 
Mrs. Chandler, wife of Rosivell. (Old Lady.) 
Beattie Blair, wife of Walter. (Straight.) 
Julia, a French maid. (French.) 

THE PACKING OF THE HOME MIS- 
SIONARY BARREL 

An Entertainment in One Scene 
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Price, i^ cents 

THE BARGAIN COUNTER 

A Farce in Three Scenes 
^y Grace Moody 

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Price, I J cents 



New Plays 



PLAIN PEOPLE 

A Comedy Drama in Four Acts 

By Dana J. Stevens 
Five males, five females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, two interiors. 
Plays a full evening. A strong and human piece full of humorous char- 
acter drawing and sympathetic interest. The cast is very even in oppor- 
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sure winner. Strongly recommended. Free for amateur .performance. 

Price, 25 ce?its 

CHARACTERS 

Ezra Bromley, storekeeper. 
Almira Bromley, housewife. 
Martin Jasper Bromley, college man. 
Liza Liz Hankins, by-at. 
Judge Jotham Marley, Christian. 
Melissy Watkins, elderly maiden. 
Jonas jARROCK,/rtr;/z^?'. 
Belindy Jarrock, seamstress. 
Hiram Curtis Peck, seller. 
April Blossom, help. 

SYNOPSIS 

Act L — Sitting-room behind Ezra Bromley's store. Morning. 

Act IL — The same. Some days later. 

Act in. — At the Jarrocks'. Some weeks later. 

Act IV. — At the Bromley s'. Later in the evening. 

FOOLING FATHER 

A Comedy in One Act 

By R. M. Robinson 
Three males. Costumes, modern ; scene, an interior. Plays thirty 
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AT THE JUNCTION 

A Farce in One Act 

By Charles S. Bird. 
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New Plays 
THE TIME OF HIS LIFE 

A Comedy in Three Acts 

By C Leon a Dalrymple 

Six males, three females. Costumes modern ; scenery, two interiors, 
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Price, 2^ cents 

CHARACTERS 

Mr. Bob Grey. 

Mrs, Bob Grey. 

Tom Carter, Mrs. Grefs brother. 

Mrs. Peter Wycombe, a *' personage,^'' 

Mr. Peter Wycombe, a " pessimist " with a digestion, 

Dorothy Landon, secretly e?igaged to Tom Carter. 

Mr. James Landon, Sr., Dorothfs father ; of a peppery disposition. 

Uncle Tom, an old colored butler from the South. 

Officer Hogan, of the Twenty- Second Street Police Station. 

EETHER OR EYTHER 

A Farce in One Act 
By Robert C. F. Meyers 

Four males, four females. Costumes modern; scene, an interior. Plays 
thirty minutes. A clever parlor play, similar in idea to the popular " Ob- 
stinate Family." Sure to please. 

Price^ 75 cents 

THE MORNING AFTER THE PLAY 

A Comedy in One Act 

By Willis Steell 

Two males, three females. Costumes modern; scene, an interior. 
Plays twenty minutes. An easy piece of strong dramatic interest, ong 
inally produced in Vaudeville by Christy Clifford. Free to amateurs 
royalty required for professional performance. 

Frice^ J$ cents 



New Plays 



COUSIN KATE 

A Comedy in Three Acts 

By Hubert Henry Davies 

Three males, foui' females. Costumes modern ; scenery, two easy in- 
teriors. Plays two hours and a half. One of the most delightful comedies 
of recent years, made widely and favorably knovA'n through the admirable 
performance of the leading role by Miss Ethel Barrymore. The inimitable 
spirit with which the scenes between Miss Barrymore and Mr. Bruce 
Mc Crae were played returns inevitably to haunt the imaginative reader 
of the lines of this play. Sold for reading only ; acting rights strictly re- 
served. 

Price y 50 cents 

CHARACTERS 
Heath Desmond, an artist. Mrs. Spencer, a widow. 
Rev. James Bartlett, a Amy Spencer, her daughter. 

clergyman. Jane, a servant. 

Bobby SyKi^c^^K, a schoolboy. Cousin Kate Curtis, <a;«^z/^/«/. 



MRS. GORRINGE^S NECKLACE 

A Play in Four Acts 

By Hubert Henry Davies 

Five males, five females. Costumes modern ; scenery, a single interior. 
Plays two hours and a half An admirable play of strong dramatic interest 
presenting a cast of characters imagined, drawn and contrasted with un- 
usual skill and effect. The piece is well known in the United States 
through the memorable performance of the leading lady character by Miss 
Mary Moore supporting Mr. Charles Wyndham. To such as remember 
that admirable performance of an admirable play, the reading of the text 
will be full of reminiscent pleasure. Sold for reading only ; acting rights 
strictly reserved. 

Price, ^o cents 

CHARACTERS 

Capt. Mowbray, retired. Mrs. Jardine. 

Col. Jardine, retired. Isabel Kirke ) her 

Lieut. David Cairn. Vicky Jardine ) daughters* 

Mr. Jernigan, a detective in- Miss Potts. 

spec tor. Mrs. Gorringe. 
Charles, a footman. 



One 



«<'Py del. to Cat. Div. 



i^CV '*''' i^iy 



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THF IWAfilSTRATT ^*'^*'® ^° Three Acts. Twelve males, four 
females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, all 
interior. Plays two hours and a half. 

THE NOTORIODS MRS. EBBSMITF ^in;;,'vrfLl;t. 

Costumes, modern ; scenery, all interiors PI; ys a lull evening. 

Tff F PROFI Ifi ATF ^^^y ^ Four Acts deven males, five females. 
Scenery, three interiors, rather elaborate ; 
costumes, modern. Plays a full evening. 

THF SCH OOT MISTRFSS ^^^^® "^ Three Acts, Nine males, seven 

females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, 
three interiors. Plays a full evening. • 

THE SECOND MRS. TANQUERAY ^^^J^lZ^^L T«' 

tumes, modern ; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. 

SWFFT [ A VFNDFR comedy in Three Acts. Seven males, four 
females. Scene, a single interior ; costumes, 
modern. Plays a full evening. 

THF TIIWFS Comedy in Four Acts. Six males, seven females. 
Scene, a single interior ; costumes, modern. Plays a 
full evening. 

THF WFAKFR SFX comedy in Three Acts. Eight males, eight 
females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, two 
interiors. Plays a full evening. 

A WIFE WITHOUT A SMILE ^'T* '",'*T T, ^"' 

males, four females. Costumes, 
modern ; scene, a single interior. Plays a full evening. 



Sent prepaid on receipt of price by 

Salter 1$. 'Bafiet & Company 

No. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts 



NOV " 

LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 



Cije 3l^illtam Wmuv ^l^iMS^ir ' 
of ^laps 

f^tite, 15 €cnt3S <!Eacl) 



AS YOII T IlfF IT Comedy in Five Acts. Thirteen males, four 
A J lUU l^llilw 11 females. Costumes, picturesque ; scenery, va- 
ried. Plays a full evening. 

CAMIT I F I^^^™^ i^ Five Acts. Nine males, five females. Cos- 
VA1UIL<L<1^ tumes, modern ; scenery, varied. Plays a full evening, 

INClOMAff I*l*y ^^ Five Acts. Thirteen males, three females. 
inUViilAIV Scenery varied ; costumes, Greek. Plays a full evening. 

IWAffY STUART Tragedy in rive Acts. Thirteen males, four fe- 
ITliilVl OlUiiAl males, and supernumeraries. Costumes, of the 
period ; scenery, varied and elaborate. Plays a full evening. 

THE MERCHANT OF VENICE SXs'f,;S^/j:i: l7ZiS!" 

ipicturesque ; scenery varied. Plays a full evening. 

ff ICTTFT IFII ^^^y ^^ -^^"^^ Acts. Fifteen males, two females. Scen- 
l\IVllL<i<lL<tl ery elaborate ; costumes of the period. Plays a full 



evening. 



TflfF RIVAT S Comedy in Five Acts. Nine males, five females, 
full evening. 



Scenery varied ; costumes of the period. Plays a 



oflK MUUl^ 10 tUM\fllcK males, four females. Scenery va- 
ried ; costumes of the period. Plays a full evening. 

TWELFTH NIfiHT; OR, WHAT YOU WILL i°r^/e„'"JiJs° 

three females. Costumes, picturesque ; scenery, varied. Plays a 
full evening. 



Sent prepaid on receipt of price by 

Walttt 1$. TBafeer & Company 

No. 5 Hamilton Place, Boston, Massachusetts 



• . i. PARKHILL & 00., PRINTERS. BOSTON. U.S.A. 



